Sunday, February 05, 2006

Barely even trying

So much to cover, so few entries. First, I had my annual follow-up with my oncologist, who declared that my lab results are "absolutely boring in their normalcy." I'll take it. A few days later, I found out that I have osteoporosis (on the border between mild and moderate), and will need to start taking a medication that is quite the rage among the over-80 set. I'm gonna rock it Granny-Style, with 8-12 ounces of water once a week, followed by 30 minutes of standing or sitting upright. Jealous much? Included in the osteoporosis informational sheet I received from the imaging center was a list of "fall prevention tips." Fall in this case refers to taking a spill on your brittle hip bones, not the luminous season of the year when the hillsides are ablaze like a box of Crayolas and Woody Allen makes another movie in New York. At the top of the list was: Avoid wearing high-heeled shoes. So I went out and bought these beauties from the Stuart Weitzman orthopedic line: Granny's Dress Shoes I will not go gentle. No - when I break a hip, I want all the young, strong-boned women who clamor to my rescue to gasp and say, "My God, look at those beautiful shoes!" AHEM, UH, AHEM My speaking career officially begins this month with two engagements - pro bono, because I am using them as practice. What's that, you say? You've been looking for someone to speak to your group about the pain and promise involved in new growth? Or maybe you're an executive looking for the kind of speaker who can entertain, teach and touch - but not in a stripper way - to reconnect the people on your staff to the sense of purpose that initially attracted them to their jobs? I can help. Seriously. And I'm not that pricey. Yet. Get in on the ground floor of this dream machine. My presentations include 50 percent fewer cliches than this here post. Plus, if you're really lucky, I might wear those shoes and break a hip.


Anonymous peripateticpolarbear said...

Heck, I'd come hear you speak just to see what shoes you were wearing.

6:20 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home