Monday, November 21, 2005

In the cooker

Recently while visiting our New York relations, we were watching television when an ad for a personal injury attorney came on. In the ad, a gentleman is standing in his yard in front of a barbecue grill talking about how he was glad he called this lawyer, or maybe about how she SHOULD have called this lawyer... I'm not sure exactly what he said, because Big Joe started railing from the sofa while searching for the Mute button: Ugh! I hate this guy. I HATE this guy. Get him off! I'm gonna put him in that cooker! And so it has become that the ultimate insult, the greatest threat, and the supreme dismissal is to put someone or something In the Cooker. This time of year, before we have to start counting our blessings, I think I need to put some things in the cooker. Clean house, so to speak, so I can be truly grateful. Today's list of things I'm putting in the cooker: - My HP Deskjet 3820. - The nickname TomKat, when used without irony. - Cancer. - bleeding varices - My ex-husband, who hasn't seen my son in 10 years, never made any acknowledgement of birthdays or other holidays, paid approximately $800 child support total over the past 17 years, and suddenly decided to show up yesterday for a fishing trip. - Edy's Slow Churned Rich & Creamy Light French Silk ice cream. Damn you Edy! You're an ice cream witch, that's what you are. - The 4,500 other houses on the market in our city that are apparently more appealing than the one I'm trying to sell. I could go on, but I'll save it for another time. What would you put in the cooker?


Blogger jo(e) said...

The entire Bush administration.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Pandy said...

Writer's block, 'til it's nothing but dusty ash.

I don't know if I've ever commented for you before, but I love reading your blog. It's fantastic.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Moreena said...

You've already got the bleeding varices in the cooker, so they should be completely history by now. Thanks!

11:29 AM  

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