Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Where are my car keys, a poem

This morning, I: got up wrote my column with Buttercup in my lap emailed it to its editor told my mother-in-law I would bring Buttercup to her while I worked at the church got dressed dressed Buttercup brushed my teeth decided that my hair looks like this guy's got frustrated while looking for a checkbook with blank checks cursed under my breath at JC, who dumped our checkbook drawer into a Target bag for the move over here found a good checkbook in a place where I immediately remembered putting it gathered my notebooks anf folders that I needed for work looked for my keys realized that Buttercup was wearing only one shoe asked her where the other shoe was told her to go put on the other shoe called the dogs in from the backyard told Buttercup to come in from the back porch with her shoe and put.it.on! looked for my damn keys discovered my coffee had gotten cold since I poured it put coffee in microwave found Buttercup typing on the computer, helpfully resetting my Internet preferences looked under sofa cushions for my got damn keys raised my voice at Buttercup and took her out of the computer chair told her to stop crying looked in the bathroom for my keys looked in my husband's jeans pockets for my keys found 1/2 brown banana peel under side table looked in garbage can for my keys asked Buttercup if she had seen Mama's keys told her again that she didn't need to cry told her that the computer was not a toy covered my ears because, wow, she was really howling looked in the bedroom for my keys looked again in all the previous places I had looked looked through the window of my car looked again through my purse looked in the most unlikely places, such as Xerxes' room, the freezer and the bathtub picked up Buttercup and placed her into her crib in her room and walked out because if I hadn't gotten away from that sound I would have had a stroke and, yes, that probably makes me a terrible mother, and I promise I will punish myself appropriately for it as soon as I FIND MY FUCKING KEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did not find keys gave up called mother-in-law to tell her we would not be coming over hoped secretly that husband accidentally took both sets of keys because it is infinitely better to have a spouse who takes your keys than it is to lose your keys called my oncologist about whether there is any approved treatment for chemotherapy-related stupidity got Buttercup out of bed hugged and kissed her like crazy heated two slices of pizza for our lunch ate lunch with Buttercup, just us girls - Buttercup and her awful mommy sang Buttercup to sleep at naptime learned that husband did not have keys gave up hoped tomorrow would be much better

2 Comments:

Blogger PPB said...

And you're just going to keep us hanging liek that? Did you find them? Hope your day gets better.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Marie said...

So glad you found them. And how nice of you to let us have a smile at your expense.

2:45 AM  

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